I'm not sure what part of my body I am up to with frustration due to shitful tailgaters on the freeway but I've come to the point where I need to say something about it.
Because the poor old numb brainers are winding back their vocabulary to the point where just one word will eventually mean everything, the word 'tailgating' now has an added usage. It is used to describe the American process of consuming food whilst not having to roam more than a few metres away from the rear of their motor vehicles. It involves the dispensing of what you and I might call crap but the Yanks call food via the good old BBQ and deeeeep fryer. 
Not only was I surprised to see just so many pictures on the one topic but equally perplexing, or given the fact that they are American, maybe not so perplexing, is that they all seem to want to celebrate their sick obsession by displaying it to the worl
d, confirming the rest of the planet's assertion that if a turd was stuffed with three different types of cheese and fried, the Yanks would eat it.
Actually, I am being just a little bit harsh here. I'm making out that this tailgating is something unnatural....people buzzing around the back of their cars looking for something to eat.....but no...what the more intuitive observer may notice is a not dissimilar behaviour that most of u
s have witnessed elsewhere. Are you getting a whiff of similarity? Yyessss, I knew it wasn't obscure at all. Every animal in the wild who doesn't have the ability to maintain a sanitary anus by itself, engages in a symbiotic relationship with a variety of animals like flies, beetles and crabs. The little creepies and crawlies make a deal with daggy arsed animals where they offer to keep their host's bumholes clean by gnawing, nibbling, sucking and chewing off the fecal presentations adorning the rings of said beasts.
I thought I'd have a look at some pics to accompany my rant. I image searched Google by typing in "tailgate"....what came up?....A BILLION pictures......millions and millions of images of Americans finding yet another way to make sure they don't go a nano second without access to food.
Because the poor old numb brainers are winding back their vocabulary to the point where just one word will eventually mean everything, the word 'tailgating' now has an added usage. It is used to describe the American process of consuming food whilst not having to roam more than a few metres away from the rear of their motor vehicles. It involves the dispensing of what you and I might call crap but the Yanks call food via the good old BBQ and deeeeep fryer. 
Not only was I surprised to see just so many pictures on the one topic but equally perplexing, or given the fact that they are American, maybe not so perplexing, is that they all seem to want to celebrate their sick obsession by displaying it to the worl
d, confirming the rest of the planet's assertion that if a turd was stuffed with three different types of cheese and fried, the Yanks would eat it.Actually, I am being just a little bit harsh here. I'm making out that this tailgating is something unnatural....people buzzing around the back of their cars looking for something to eat.....but no...what the more intuitive observer may notice is a not dissimilar behaviour that most of u
s have witnessed elsewhere. Are you getting a whiff of similarity? Yyessss, I knew it wasn't obscure at all. Every animal in the wild who doesn't have the ability to maintain a sanitary anus by itself, engages in a symbiotic relationship with a variety of animals like flies, beetles and crabs. The little creepies and crawlies make a deal with daggy arsed animals where they offer to keep their host's bumholes clean by gnawing, nibbling, sucking and chewing off the fecal presentations adorning the rings of said beasts. What I'm not really clear on though, is how and why this behaviour has emerged in present day Americans. Did someone just come up with this idea one day or, most likely, was it a resurrection of long suppressed instinct, lost during a few thousand years of evolution only to now re-emerge as normal behaviour where one loiters at the anus of other beasts mimicking the behaviour of crap
eating bugs and consuming biological waste.
eating bugs and consuming biological waste. The signs have been there.... America's filthy lust for food has set them aside from the rest of humanity for many years. A pretty weird species for sure. Whether their position on the
advanced lifeform-o-meter is right near the top on not, it seems, was only a transient blip in their evolution. But now, I think the secret is out. Their quest to ingest maximal amounts of salt, fat and sugar have cemented their position on the advanced lifeform-o-meter as shit eating bugs....... and "tailgating", is the corn-in-your-shit proof. The Yanks have now lowered their world image to that of a fly on a
advanced lifeform-o-meter is right near the top on not, it seems, was only a transient blip in their evolution. But now, I think the secret is out. Their quest to ingest maximal amounts of salt, fat and sugar have cemented their position on the advanced lifeform-o-meter as shit eating bugs....... and "tailgating", is the corn-in-your-shit proof. The Yanks have now lowered their world image to that of a fly on a pooey bum.
Just whe
n you thought there was no other use for the automobile, the Americans have now shown us...G O D !!....advertised to the world via their "me eating" pictures on the interweb, that it now looks like they are not able to venture more than a metre or so from a mobile food supply.
n you thought there was no other use for the automobile, the Americans have now shown us...G O D !!....advertised to the world via their "me eating" pictures on the interweb, that it now looks like they are not able to venture more than a metre or so from a mobile food supply.
If GM or Ford could now design the back of their cars to dispense fat through a puckered orifice, our cholesterol cowboys can just do a Homer Simpson and suck fat till they drop.
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