Leave Me Alone

Who cares if it rains more? Who cares if it gets hotter or colder? Who cares if the sea rises by a metre? Some areas will get hotter and some will get colder, some will be wetter and some will be drier. There will be more of some foods and less of others. The earth already has really hot places and really wet places. So if things change, it's still the same game, just a different map. Oh no, what about those poor islanders who'll loose their paradise homes? Let's help them... oh hang on. What about those poor homeless hundreds of thousands/millions across the western world ignored by their governments/rich people in Prius's? We're happy for them to be displaced and living in shit....and you can absolutely blame us for that!

But that's not a climate change problem. No bastard is out there with a bumper sticker whining about that....too hard?...no...just don't have time to manage a stock portfolio, climate change community focus group evenings and homeless people all at once...and more importantly, no votes in homeless people kicked out of their homes by bankers and wankers!

Anyway, the climate's gunna change....big news. Seas rise and some nice coastal properties are going to depreciate a tad. Tough for those in Lorne and Malibu. Big effing deal.

Noah didn't run around with dorky rainbow stickers on his donkey cart, he just got on with the job. If the neighbourhood turned crappy, he moved. Y'all need to do what Chopper says and that's to "harden the fuck up".

Nothing stays the same...ever. That's why we are still here....we adapt. Organisms that don't adapt, disappear. Self righteous trendy wankers preaching at me from the comfy seats of their enormous carbon footprint Prius should be the first into the soylent green hopper. Tell me you only buy local produce and walk everywhere and have no air-con. And stop telling me about the great bargains you get buying stuff from overseas online, like a climate-friendly solar torch that had to be flown at the expense of god knows how many thousands of litres of av gas from China. Well thanks for saving the planet by putting in a couple of solar panels and water tanks and separating your rubbish so that it can ride in separate trucks on a journey to the tip where it will all be reunited in the same pile.

If you really want to help, become involved with the mission to alleviate the hardship of the remainder of the Haitian population that is 200,000 people down on what it was this time last year instead of crying how the world is coming to an end because 20 houses were lost in Tully.

Your stupid minds stop at the Sixty Minutes door of what disaster we'll feel bad about this week until something bright and shiny attracts your attention for the next few days, like yet another “legend” sportsman publishing a cocaine and sex diet cookbook.

The big ticket items fall off the radar and you go back to worrying about a few plastic fucking garbage bags choking a few seals. You're like an autistic retard, sitting there in your own world flapping your hands in front of your faces until a loud noise distracts you for a few seconds. You react, maybe make a noise, then go back to flapping your hands. If you ever managed to stay with the big picture and not complain about nothing-stuff, like noisy leaf blowers and some polar bears that have to swim a bit further than they used to, then I'd listen to you. But you wont. You'll tell me to turn off my computer when I'm not using it and you'll tell me to plant a native fucking garden and you'll tell me not flush my piss out of the toilet until I have a crap the next day. Well thanks. I now know how to save a six billion year old celestial body formed and governed by forces incomprehensible.

You know who I admire? The ferals! They are the only ones who put their “money” where their cold-sore encrusted mouths are. Until I see that level of dedication to a belief from the suburban climate-Nazis, and I mean something more than the usual token gestures of bumper stickers, and pious lectures emanating from stale urine smelling homes , I'm not going to run with any of you Chicken Little nut jobs.

I'm going to drive my Suburban till it runs out of gas then I'll walk. Then my children can walk. People used to do that...

Tailgating

I'm not sure what part of my body I am up to with frustration due to shitful tailgaters on the freeway but I've come to the point where I need to say something about it.

I thought I'd have a look at some pics to accompany my rant. I image searched Google by typing in "tailgate"....what came up?....A BILLION pictures......millions and millions of images of Americans finding yet another way to make sure they don't go a nano second without access to food.

Because the poor old numb brainers are winding back their vocabulary to the point where just one word will eventually mean everything, the word 'tailgating' now has an added usage. It is used to describe the American process of consuming food whilst not having to roam more than a few metres away from the rear of their motor vehicles. It involves the dispensing of what you and I might call crap but the Yanks call food via the good old BBQ and deeeeep fryer.




Not only was I surprised to see just so many pictures on the one topic but equally perplexing, or given the fact that they are American, maybe not so perplexing, is that they all seem to want to celebrate their sick obsession by displaying it to the world, confirming the rest of the planet's assertion that if a turd was stuffed with three different types of cheese and fried, the Yanks would eat it.

Actually, I am being just a little bit harsh here. I'm making out that this tailgating is something unnatural....people buzzing around the back of their cars looking for something to eat.....but no...what the more intuitive observer may notice is a not dissimilar behaviour that most of us have witnessed elsewhere. Are you getting a whiff of similarity? Yyessss, I knew it wasn't obscure at all. Every animal in the wild who doesn't have the ability to maintain a sanitary anus by itself, engages in a symbiotic relationship with a variety of animals like flies, beetles and crabs. The little creepies and crawlies make a deal with daggy arsed animals where they offer to keep their host's bumholes clean by gnawing, nibbling, sucking and chewing off the fecal presentations adorning the rings of said beasts.

What I'm not really clear on though, is how and why this behaviour has emerged in present day Americans. Did someone just come up with this idea one day or, most likely, was it a resurrection of long suppressed instinct, lost during a few thousand years of evolution only to now re-emerge as normal behaviour where one loiters at the anus of other beasts mimicking the behaviour of crap eating bugs and consuming biological waste.

The signs have been there.... America's filthy lust for food has set them aside from the rest of humanity for many years. A pretty weird species for sure. Whether their position on the advanced lifeform-o-meter is right near the top on not, it seems, was only a transient blip in their evolution. But now, I think the secret is out. Their quest to ingest maximal amounts of salt, fat and sugar have cemented their position on the advanced lifeform-o-meter as shit eating bugs....... and "tailgating", is the corn-in-your-shit proof. The Yanks have now lowered their world image to that of a fly on a

pooey bum.

Just when you thought there was no other use for the automobile, the Americans have now shown us...G O D !!....advertised to the world via their "me eating" pictures on the interweb, that it now looks like they are not able to venture more than a metre or so from a mobile food supply.

If GM or Ford could now design the back of their cars to dispense fat through a puckered orifice, our cholesterol cowboys can just do a Homer Simpson and suck fat till they drop.

Fact or Fiction

This Kiwi scumbag came to Australia as a two-bit petty crim and ended up as one of the biggest drug crooks in the country.......oh hang on, I have been watching National Nine News. Meat puppet reporter Chloe Bigelli (thankyou Johnathon Holmes, Media Watch) is doing a story about Terry Clark. She put a picture of brat actor Matthew Newton up and then dissolved through to a picture of the actual man and started talking about Terry Clark, so called Mr. Asia.
Why the hell would she show a picture of an actor when she wanted to talk about a real criminal?
Was it her idea to insert a picture of an actor from a tv series that Nine just happen to own...I don't think so. Other than choosing what pretty little skirt to appear in, I bet she wouldn't know real news from a shit sandwich. Was it Nine's news editor's decision? I don't think so. Who runs Nine News?....No one in the news room that's for sure. It's the bean counting sociopaths who'd sell their own children as pet food to make a buck.



No wonder our nation is getting stupider and stupider or should I say more like the U.S.
When the major news networks start blurring the division between reality and fiction, you would have to think that we are lost. When the greater number of viewers that stupidly place their trust in market driven news coverage, continue to watch this stuff night after night, thereby legitimizing this slurry, we really are lost.

We have loud, graphically overloaded bullshit ads promoting the abilities of TV news programs to give us the latest and most reliable, accurate and authoritative news. They attack us with footage of our network news heroes jumping out of choppers; hero journos, costumed in bright orange CFA overalls, having their hair whipped by cyclonic bushfire winds; drilling our bastard pollies with "the hard questions that no one else will ask", etcetera, etcetera, you know want I mean. "You just have to trust us". "We are the oracle".
There is no question. They are telling us to trust them. And when the majority of Australian viewers then watch this stuff and continue to watch, they are saying, "yes, we do believe you..tell us more...feed us feed us."



It's not just Nine, it's all the commercials...and even ABC (cross promotion for things like Australian Story, Four Corners) and SBS sometimes. ABC News will run an old news story that has a recent update tidbit as an excuse to then tell us that we can "see the whole story on Australian Story tonight"

They prove to us night after night that what they promote and what they deliver are two different things. They promise news but what they are really doing is finding stories that have a sales association that can be dropped in amongst the rest of the days events.



You idiots eat it all up, every night. You feast on whatever shit they throw at your feet and then ask for more by watching their even worse current (infomercials) affair programs. Instead of punching the tv and screaming for the blood of these frauds, you polish the early evenings viewing off with brain dead stuff like The Biggest Fat Fuck or Twenty Shitful Things that Bert Newton Can Come Up With.



I know that I'm not the only one that sees this for what it really is but it seems that we are in the minority. Is this really what you want.....they say it is...I say bullshit. I know everyone has a hard day at work and comes home to try and relax but swallowing a fistfull of video vallium and spending the rest of the night breathing through your mouth and enjoying the ads as much as the programs is just saying to them, come on into my house and rape my brain...and that's fine if that's what you want. BUT DON'T LET THEM FEED YOU FICTION WHILE THEY CALL IT FACT!



We all deserve better. Make them work harder for their Beemers and Mercs. They listen to one thing only and that's not your voice, it's their ratings. Sooooo simple.....and quick..... don't watch their newsfomercials. Watch ABC or SBS for a few weeks. The bean counters will go berserk...very quickly..... and look for reasons why the money is not coming in. If they think you like honest and untarnished news, they will give it to you. But if they can't, then they'll probably sell their kids to the abbatoir.